Trailer Critic

It's so bad this week that you should really consider going to an art house - you know, those dank little cinemas in your town where people drink espressos, smoke hand-rolled Balkan Sobranies and discuss Godard, Konchalovsky and Svankmajer in hushed tones of awe.

Why? Let's look at the mainstream offerings: "Dear John" is a drama based on yet another book by Nicholas Sparks, rightly termed the John Grisham of romance novels. It's directed by Lasse Hallstrom, the go-to guy for emotionally stiff, visually lush fare (OK, I liked "My Life as a Dog" and "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" - what the hell happened?). Sure, Richard Jenkins is in there, but I don't think that will redeem this turgid offering, a key plot point of which involves people a world away from each other staring wistfully at the full moon. Then we have "From Paris with Love." Oh no. Superviolent buddy movie No. 4,813. This time, John Travolta is the whack-a-doodle secret agent who teaches nebbish Jonathan Rhys Meyers to loosen up and enjoy life, primarily by offing Dumpster loads of ethnic gang/terrorist types. Sigh. Luc Besson, one of my top guilty pleasures ("The Professional," "The Fifth Element"), came up with the story. C'mon, Luc! It looks like you just copied "Rush Hour 3."

So . . . avec le cinema! Here are your top two choices:

"The Last Station" looks jolly, doesn't it? It's about the final days of Russian author Leo Tolstoy (he wrote "War and Peace" and some other cool stuff - heard of him?).

It seems that Leo (Christopher Plummer!), a rich aristocrat, is into some nutty hippy Christian-commune thing, which is really pissing off his wife (Helen Mirren!). Plates are thrown, shots are fired, mad passionate love is made, tragedy ensues. It's got it all. Sounds pretty lively, for a costume drama.

"Storm" is much more hard-hitting. It's a thriller and a drama of conscience, concerning the Bosnian massacres, international tribunals and questions of truth and responsibility.

The central character is played by Kerry Fox, who was simply awesome in films such as "Shallow Grave" and "An Angel at My Table." The mere fact that I can't guess the ending based on the trailer is a big plus.

Both films are in color, and neither has subtitles -- whew! You need fiber in your diet, and arty fare can we a welcome change from the usual junk-food fare. What the hell - blow your dough on these this weekend.

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Image: Christopher Plummer and Helen Mirren in "The Last Station" -- Hey, Tolstoy, is that a new novel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

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Trailer Critic is a dscriber.com service that reviews trailers for major films because we know a lot of people merely check out the trailer online before deciding to shell out the big bucks for a ticket and popcorn. Brad Weismann, an award-winning journalist and expert in film, is your guide.

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