Help us identify this pirate

Today, on the occasion of International Pirate's Day, dscriber is issuing an all-points-bulletin to medieval festivals, viking re-enactments and bondage clubs for a missing unidentified pirate or faux-pirate. He's probably in his mid-50s and somewhere in the Washington state area with a tremendous amount of free time on his hands.

He possesses unusual clothing, guns, and beer steins, answering to "Arrrrrrrrrrrr!"

He also reportedly says, "Supersize me tankard of grog, McMatey!" Extremely unreliable sources indicate that he's a sales rep for Hellllllzburrrrrrrrg Diamonds, and a winner of the Art Carrrrney lookalike contest.

However, we're not quite sure whether he's a real pirate or just "pi-curious."

If you think you can help us identify this pirate or know how to reach any of his stranded mates, please comment below.

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Photo by Gavin Ehringer for dscriber